Are You Rejecting What You Really, Really, Really Want?

Do you believe you are creating your life and the experiences you have? Are you getting what you really, really, really want...or are you rejecting it? 

Or is it more like wham!

You hit the wall....again.

Would you like to see things in your life shift more toward what you want? Such as finances feeling better, relationships healing and improving, your psychic senses opening up, feeling more connected to those you are closest to, your body feeling and getting better every day, more energy to enjoy your life?

Maybe you are manifesting exactly what you want and you LOVE every bit of it, and you are super happy. If this is you – congratulations! Seriously, that is awesome!

If you are seeing lots of stuff in your life that you don’t like (and see no reason for), or simply want to improve upon what you are already doing, then it’s time to take a look at the blocks to manifesting.

3 Biggest Blocks to Manifesting

       Resentment, Regret, Rejection ~ The first two lead to the last.

You may be thinking that you don’t reject money, or love or health or anything else for that matter. Oh, but you do. In some subtle way, you do. Even with the amazing mantra of “I accept, I accept, I accept” chances are you are still rejecting the very thing you are working to manifest.

What Resentment looks like:

 Resentment looks like judgement, blame, complaining, jealousy / envy, insecurity.

In Money:

•  “Who needs a 5,000 squarefoot house?” 

• “Why would someone spend $50,000 on a car?”

• “Whole Foods is sooo expensive, if you can afford to shop there, you’ve got too much money!”

These are just a few things that indicate judgement, which may hold jealousy or envy. While you may choose to do something different with that kind of income, judging others for how they spend their money emphasizes your feeling of lack. 

In Love: 

• ·         “Where are all the good men/women?” “All the good ones are taken”(lack of, none for me)

• ·         “Mr. /Ms. Right just doesn’t exist” (complaining) “Soul mate…yeah right, no such thing!” (lack of belief and faith)

• ·         “They all leave me, every time!”  “They all cheat eventually!” (blame)

These are all lamenting what is missing. Nowhere here is there any gratitude or appreciation for those who DO love you. So, what happens if you really let someone love you? What if you really let someone in romantically? …. Seriously, answer those questions. Feel into your body for resistance, even the slightest tinge. 

In Health: 

• ·         “Look at her – she must starve herself!” (judgement)

• ·         “I can’t exercise, I don’t have time” (avoiding)

• ·         “Fat people are harder to kidnap hahaha!” (joking that covers up feeling a lack of safety/insecurity).

All these feelings, thoughts and even jokes about can stop you from having. What happens if you have money?  What happens if you really allow yourself to love another completely, and allow them to love you completely? What happens if you really are fit and healthy?

What Regret looks like:

Regret often looks like guilt.

•  “There are others out there with less than I have, I do what I can to help them.” (giving away so much that you hurt yourself, altruism)

•    “You are sooooo good to me! Too good to me!” (feeling undeserving/unworthy of healthy love)

•  “Every time I attempt a healthier lifestyle, my family teases me for being a ‘health nut’” (guilt leads to resuming unhealthy patterns)

So what does this mean??  Rejection.

When resentment and rejection/ guilt are prevalent, or even present, you automatically reject what you want. You cancel out your manifesting work. 

The reasons and details vary as every individual has a unique set of beliefs, subconscious programs and cultural conditioning.

If you can afford that 5,000 squarefoot house, and others will be jealous of you, reject you, you’ll become corrupt….or fill in your own blank….you will inherently reject the ability to afford such a home.

If you have a great relationship and start feeling like they’re getting too close, or you feel like you don’t deserve such a great love  – you will inherently push them away.

If you fear for your physical safety or fear no longer belonging to your family, you will reject health.

It happens, all the time. Sometimes it is very subtle, sometimes glaringly obvious. Often we can see such things in others but have trouble seeing them in ourselves. Use that to your advantage.

The First Step to Change: Self Awareness

First, become an observer of your feelings, your phrases both in word and thought, your behaviour.  These three are your first signals of what you really believe, what your subconscious programs are and how you have been culturally conditioned. When it is easier to see the programs, beliefs and conditioning of others, use it to look within! Your symptoms might be different, but the programs the same or very similar.

Being aware of yourself, your feelings and thoughts is absolutely key to knowing what needs shifting. You can do all sorts of releasing rituals, energy work, prayer, whatever you like, and you will see improvement. If you don’t go deep enough, the issues will return. They may show up in a different way, but they will return. The block may be smaller – but it’s still there. 

Looking For Every Aspect is Important

Like the facets of a shimmering jewel, we need all aspects to be clear and in harmony. Getting cleared from every aspect is really necessary for the entire block to dissipate and be gone. To do that, ask the questions from high school English class: Who, What, When, Where, Why, HOW.  Answer them. Who said? Why is this? How is this?  BTW: “How is this?” and “What am I getting out of this?” automatically trigger the subconscious mind.

Be Gentle with Yourself

You are on a journey, not seeking a destination. Allow yourself the time and grace to learn how to be self aware. Self awareness is simply the beginning….allow yourself the time, without dallying about in your growth.  Notice that you’re dallying about? Well, that’s simply avoidance. It happens sometimes. Take the next step. Release the resentment. Release the regret. When you really get some of these cleared out, the rejection (and fear of rejection) begins to fall away. Then you see things begin to fall into your lap….

See your manifesting being visible, receivable, and effective!

5 Signs of A Poverty Mindset

We hear all the time about having a “Prosperity Mindset” or “Success Mindset” or “Abundance Mindset”. What we don’t hear about is the flip side or the “Poverty Mindset”. 

Maybe that’s because we are so used to it that it is invisible to us. Many are also taught a poverty mindset as a religious belief, thus feel that “having too much” separates them from God. In the spiritual community, there is this conflict going on – people understand that they deserve to have abundance and prosperity (two different things by the way), yet have these subconscious programs creating a mindset of poverty. They do all sorts of things to create abundance and prosperity, sometimes successful, sometimes not. 

Let’s be aware first: most of the world lives on so very little. Here in the U.S. the poverty level is equivalent to riches elsewhere in the world. It is important to keep that in mind, yet as I write that I also feel it as a limitation, a block, a reason to sabotage one’s self from having greater prosperity. It feels like a block because it is a comparison, it’s keeping score, which leads us right into the list! (which is in no particular order by the way) 

1)     It feels bad to have “too much” or more than others have.

Ever feel guilty because you have more than someone else, but not enough that you feel you can freely give of money? Have you ever put off purchases of needed items, even if you had the money because you didn’t want to seem “uppity” to others or appear to have more money than you really do? Do you feel you need to explain what a struggle it is to buy the necessary items you need? 

This is actually a MAJOR block to developing a Prosperity Mindset! When you are busy keeping score of who has less than you, your focus on your guilt, not helping others. Often we call this “humbleness” or “humility” but it really is neither. There is a distinct difference in the energy of “humility” and the energy of “guilt”.  Humility is a virtue, it is about recognizing and honoring that everything matters, that we are all important, none more than another.  Guilt is a form of regret. Therefore, in no way is guilt the equivalent of humility – and it should never be mistaken as such.

2)    You are jealous or envious of what others have.

Even jokingly, playfully saying “I’m so jealous of them!” is an indication of some real jealousy or envy somewhere within you. This is another way of keeping score – only this time you are scoring what you lack. Learning to have the discernment between being inspired by someone else and being envious is important. It is perfectly fine to be inspired to greatness by someone else’s greatness. However, when jealousy and envy enter the picture, there is this energy of wanting to take something from someone else, to “knock them down a peg”.  

Be happy for others and their successes, their prosperity, their wins. When those around you are moving forward, it is an indication that yours is coming too. If you get jealous or angry that “it’s working for everyone else but me!” you will surely block yourself. Likely there is a belief of undeserving or unworthyness that lies beneath that jealousy.

3)    Complaining about what you don’t have

First, understand that it is OK, and appropriate to want something different, something more than what you currently have! 

It is perfectly fine to say “I want a 5 bedroom house on 3 acres that is 15 minutes from town and in a nice neighborhood”. 

The problem comes when you hate or resent the housing you currently have. The same concept applies to your job, your vehicle, your clothes, pretty much everything. (Let’s leave interpersonal relationships out of this one for now.) Often I hear people (my husband has been way too good at this) “I’m making an observation, I’m not complaining.” or "It's reality!"
 You know the difference – in yourself and in others. True observations are made free from judgment or any feelings of “less than”. Any time judgment or feelings of inadequacy are in the mix – it’s a complaint. Stop it.

 If we create or at least co-create our own reality we have some power over it then. Stop complaining, use that power to make changes.

4)    Judgment of what others need

This one is interesting. Truly, what do we need? We need food, water, clothing and shelter to survive. What do we need to THRIVE? What do we need to be HAPPY? What do we need to SHARE LOVE?  Who decides what anyone needs? Who decides what YOU need? 

For instance, a teenage boy wants a full size bed. Parent says “You don’t need that” – more because of the cost of the bed than anything else. Does the boy need a full size bed? Not really. However, it will make his sleep better; there is room for the animals that sleep with him, and the dog he wants to get. What is the value of spending the extra money for a full size bed? Peacefulness and better disposition that comes from better rest. This means fewer arguments and less stress, which means more happiness. 

A lady I know has said “If you can afford to shop at Harris Teeter, you have too much money.” Judgment! Harris Teeter, PAH!  Try Whole Foods, EarthFare and the local Co-Op! Seriously, the people who shop at these “high end” stores are usually making dietary choices – based more on what their body needs than what their money says. Often these people have a large grocery budget and no money for other things like steady dance classes or music lessons. (thank goodness for Youtube!)  Why would someone do that?! Ok, let’s get the trend crap out of the way – there are people who will do it as a “status” kind of thing. They have their own issues, and a poverty mindset is not one of them. People would pay that kind of money for a different quality of food – because they feel better. Maybe it’s a serious disease like celiac disease. Maybe they have a kid on the autism spectrum and they are super sensitive to conventional foods. What is the pay off? Your body feeling good (or at least better). Your child in a reasonably balanced state, fewer melt downs. Spending the money on the food your body or your child’s body really needs is a choice. It’s a choice between money and health. It’s a choice between money and a more peaceful household.

What is valued varies between individuals. It serves no one to judge what anyone but yourself and your household needs. Even in your own house – each individual has unique needs.  The more needs that are met reasonably well, the happier and more peaceful everyone in your home will be – especially you! 

It’s ok to set, and even change as you grow, what you need.

5)    Misunderstanding Greed

Misunderstanding greed? What? Yes, greed is misunderstood. If ever you think that rich people are greedy – you misunderstand greed. You miss the point. Poor people can be greedy too. “Greed” implies that someone is unwilling to share what they have, and are willing to harm others for personal gain. Many rich people do neither. Many poor people do both. 

Greed is in no way exclusive to the upper class. When one displays distain for those who have more wealth, more health, more anything, they limit themselves. That distain may also be showing that they would hate themselves for doing the same thing – which is what creates the blocks. 

Why is it that so many people say “The rich only give to charity for the tax breaks.”? Unless that is a known fact that one is being “charitable” for personal gain, it’s a judgment. It may even be a projection of something you would do that you feel is wrong. We are taught in so many ways to be altruistic, that it is holy and pleasing to God, that it shows humility, that it is respectable. 

 Altruism actually means giving to others at the expense of yourself, meaning you are harming yourself and/or your family. It’s a martyr role, and in the end, no one is really helped. Often, the energy of lack expands instead of the energy of prosperity. 

Be happy for those with great wealth, health, relationships, and whatever it is you would like to see more of in your life. Stop seeing them as greedy – you really don’t know their story (most likely).  Chances are, if you did know their story – you would see them differently.

Take Your Mindset from Poverty to Prosperity 

Here I’ve listed 5 signs of a poverty mindset. I’ve also told of whys and wherefores. Now HOW do you get from a Poverty mindset to a Prosperity mindset? There are many ways. You choose what works for you. However, it all begins with awareness of self. Notice when there is that tinge of jealousy. Notice when there is that judgment of another. Notice when there is guilt. Notice when you are complaining. Then ask “why do I feel this way?” or “how is that”? The answers will come, and the changes can be made. 

Be gentle with yourself! A colleague of mine, who is much older than I, has made the observation that those of us who are younger put so much pressure on ourselves. We do. We want the benefits of our shifts NOW. What happens if you really allow yourself to grow into the next step, the next phase of your life? That’s what it’s really about – you have to grow out of the Poverty Mindset and into the Prosperity Mindset. It’s a process. 

Allow yourself the space, time and self-care to grow well.